My dear, sweet little boy:
Here I sit at work on your first birthday. I'm trying so hard not to feel guilty- do you magically know how to tell time now that you're one?! I certainly hope not.
And it's Mother's Day- what better way to celebrate the anniversary of your birth?! Enter extra pang of guilt <HERE>. Does it count that I'm planning a cupcake-tastic birthday feast for you? Or that I can't wait to see your face at the end of every workday? Honestly, your toothy grin and happy, healthy chuckles make it all tolerable…even when I know a night of sleeplessness more than likley awaits me.
Yes, my son- you are the PERFECT gift...the ULTIMATE blessing. Even when my patience is lacking and I'm functioning on little rest. With you, my life has truly begun. Everyone was right- you really don't know what love is until you have kids. But don't worry- you'll understand that love someday, too.
Love was locking eyes with you as the doctor placed you on my chest, tending to your MANY middle-of-the-night "I'm hungry" cries, and changing endless black-as-tar poopie diapers.
Love is showing you the wonder of a growing garden, relishing in your squeals of delight as you splash in the swimming pool, showing you the stars at night, teaching you white-girl-from-Iowa Spanish (except it will be adapted for little white boys, and even then it will just be the nice words...until kindergarten anyway). : )
Love is sweating bullets when you try to stand during bathtime, running to catch you as you climb up the stove, wincing when you bite wooden patio furniture...grabbing your sticky, dimpled hand a second before you taste a rock or unsuspecting bug (ideally, but not always the case).
Love is watching your confidence soar as you learn new things, recording your excited laugh in my mind as you walk/run/stumble toward me...love is letting you spin the washer dial for the 50th time, and rejoicing in laundry duties- even when that means you unfold everything I did in fact fold.
And when you sing "ma ma ma ma", I liken it to the voices of angels...you are my unique melody.
